Steven asks :
Hi Lucy,
I’ve been buying and wearing women’s knickers for years in secret, I’m not gay and I’m single. I suspect but not sure that people already know as I’ve told ex-girlfriends in the past. I was walked in on by a male friend today as I was drying some over the fire. He hasn’t brought it up since but I fear he’ll tell people. I’m not sure what to do, if I knew it was already known about I could live with it, what do you think?
Hi Steven,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps take your friend to one side and ask him if he will keep it to himself if you don’t feel ready for everyone to know yet. Or if you trust him not to say anything then maybe leave it alone, perhaps he assumed they were a girlfriend's or left after a one night stand.
If you are not sure who knows what, then if you ask people you might tell them without intending to. You say that if they 'already knew you could handle it' then maybe you are ready to confront any resistance about what you are doing.
If you have told ex-girlfriends in the past and they have not had a bad reaction, then maybe others will feel the same. Perhaps they will see it as a quirk rather than something to shy away from.
Maybe if more people knew you could challenge any misconceptions about why you do it. A lot of rumours and gossip are formulated when people are ignorant about something, so perhaps if you put them straight there will be nothing left for them speculate over.
tagged in Gay friend yin and yang single agony aunt
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