Rhys asks :

Hi Lucy,

Should me and my girlfriend stay together or just be friends? We've been going out for 8 months now but recently we've been going through some troubles. I've messed up and I've tried so hard to make things better but I don't think it's worked, we both love each other, and I've promised her that I'll try my best to make things better if we stay together but she doesn't believe me. I still want to be with her, so badly. But she thinks it would be better to just be friends because she still wants me to be in her life. But I know that would be so hard for me because it would only bring up old feelings I had for her. So I was just wondering what the best course of action would be, stay together or just be friends?

Our Reply

Hi Rhys,

Every relationship goes through its troubles so; if you love each other then there should be an expectation that it’s not going to be rosy all the time.

It sounds like perhaps your actions have affected the trust in your relationship and that is what she is struggling to regain. How have you tried to make things better? Have you asked her how you can try to recapture what you once had?

If she is intent on being friends then it may well be hard at first but you run the risk of not having her in your life at all if you decide that it’s too hard to maintain. She seems to be intent on still having you in her life, so perhaps see how things go and how you feel once or if you have become friends once again.

You can offer to go to couples counselling so you can both discuss what happened and why she feels you would be better if you were not romantic anymore. It all depends if she is willing to put in the work- it could go either way- she might see you trying to fix things with a big gesture like this or she might refuse to go if she thinks it will not change anything. All you can do is ask if you want to do anything and everything to keep her. 


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