Val asks :

Should I support my mum? My mum is severely depressed because she is the main breadwinner, my dad got made redundant years ago and it bothers my mum that he never found another job. He's become a house husband doing all the cooking and cleaning but money is desperatly needed which stresses my mum out, they are both getting old and things are getting tougher. They have made so many mistakes in their lives and I feel bitter that I have inherited their problems, especially since they married off my older brother yet say they have no more money left for my wedding. I appreciate how depressed they are and feel for them but their attitudes towards me leave me feeling bitter and scared that one day I will end up like them. What should I do?

Yin replies

If your father and money are the cause of your mother’s depression, if you are able get a part time job to help her out this could make the situation a little better which would make your home life a bit more bearable. It is likely that they didn’t envisage their financial problems when they paid for your brother’s wedding and did not anticipate not being able to pay for yours. 

Yang replies

Has your mother seen anyone about her depression? It may be worth her booking in an appointment with the doctors to have a course of counselling so she can talk about her feelings. If you are feeling the way you are and your Dad has his own problems then it may be that she needs to vent to someone outside of the family.

There is always the possibility that you could turn out like them, but if that is a life that you don’t want to live then you don’t have to. Don’t surrender to it, take hold of your life and steer it in the opposite direction.  


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.