Dharmesh asks :
Hi Lucy,
I am 31 years old. I have been married for the past 6 years. It’s a marriage of love and we were in a relationship of about 5 years before we got married. My concern is right now my personal (sexual and non-sexual) and professional life is going nowhere. I am stuck with a job and an industry I don't want to continue. I am not able to get suitable professional options. My personal relationship with my wife is going astray. We are hardly compatible nowadays; this has affected our sex life as well. As a result I am drawn towards older women and online sexting. Please help me. Need someone to talk to. Kind Regards, Dharmesh
Hi Dharmesh,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This sounds like a very hard situation to be in right now, if both your personal and professional life are suffering at the same time.
Perhaps it’s best to talk to your wife before tackling the issue of your career, as you will likely need her support if you decide to change direction.
Talking to her should help the physical side of things as well because sex is not only about a physical connection but an emotional one too. If you can communicate with one another effectively then your sex life should naturally follow. If you are open and honest about missing having sex with her then she might feel more loved and wanted, which can only aim to help the intimate side of your relationship.
If you like ‘sexting’ could you do this with your wife to stop you from doing it with other women? This could add a new element to your sex life. While you are both out you could exchange some cheeky texts to get each other excited about what you can do once you get home. It is great way to tease each other and makes the working day go faster.
Once you have spoken to your wife, and then perhaps get her involved in looking for something new in terms of your working life. Could you ask her to revamp your CV with you, or could she help you look for something new? Perhaps ask yourself what you think you would be most happy in and aim for that. If it means looking at some retraining then that might have to be something you need to do to reach your goal. I would suggest looking for whatever it is you want to do and then making a list of steps you need to do to get there. Maybe try to do it in little chunks so it doesn’t become too much at once for you. Dreams can be achieved but sometimes it just takes a bit of patience, hard work and perseverance to get there.
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