Jack asks :
Hello Lucy,
My question is can a woman treat a guy as an option for a prolonged amount of time? I met a girl last May, we had a one night stand but dated for a few weeks after, she seemed really into me and I was very shocked when she said she just wanted to be friends. However, 11 months down the line we grew closer over time as friends, not like best buddies but a lot of trust and time, when I met her shed recently come out of a 4 year relationship and is currently going through single and proud phase and is career obsessed I'm the only guy outside of work she talks to or sees, she's invited me round next for dinner and some drinks as her flat mate is out on a date, all this 2 weeks before a planned weekend holiday we have with each other. Can a girl change her opinion of a guy as she gets to know him? Or am I just stuck in the friend zone and deluding myself? Thank you
Our Reply
Hi Jack,
Yes, a woman’s feelings can grow for a man over time the more she gets to know him. Attraction and sex can only go so far but if she is close to you, you are the only guy she sees and you enjoy holidays away together then it seems that she values you in her life, but the question is in what way?
There is no way of really knowing for sure unless you ask her. Chances are if she slept with you the once and that was it that she only sees you as a friend. If you were to date her if she is in a career obsessed place right now she might not make a lot of time for you anyway. If she is enjoying the single and proud phase then she might not be thinking along the same lines as you are.
You have already asked her once- so perhaps you could find the courage in yourself to do it again and ask her if she ever sees you and her as anything more than just friends. If there has been no sign that she wants to take things further then it could be that what she told you last time still stands.
Either way, if you ask the question at least you will know and can move on or work on trying to be a couple.
tagged in couple friend yin and yang agony aunt
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