Jane asks : My boyfriend doesn't brush his teeth. He is 27 years old and he has quite bad teeth from drinking fizzy drinks and not brushing as a child and teen. I started out hinting, then mentioning it now and again. Now I've out and out told him that I'm worried he'll get gum disease and his teeth will fall out and that I wish he would brush his teeth ( I didnt mention bad breath as not to hurt his feelings). But he still got really mad with me and said he's self conscious about them at that he knows they'll get worse and doesn't need me acting like his mum. He said he'd try harder but his toothbrush still hasn't moved in a week! I reminded him today and hes gone off at me again for breaking my promise ( that I wouldn't talk about it anymore). I don't know what to do anymore, I've tried everything and I don't wanna lose him.
Hi Jane,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Although you are bothered by the bad breath, it sounds like you are looking after his best interests as well as making things more bearable for you. It is important to be aware of the things that can happen if he continues to abandon any oral routine, such as gum disease and tooth decay- however if he is aware of these things then perhaps your concerns land on deaf ears. He is old enough to know of the side effects and what can be done to reverse or prevent such things happening to his body.
If he is self-conscious about his teeth already then he may be even more so if he loses them all. One might think that this self-consciousness should drive him to do something about it. Perhaps get him a voucher for a teeth whitening session or a clean and polish from the dentist and then he could feel better about himself and his teeth, which may encourage him to carry on looking after them.
If this doesn't work then perhaps be a little more honest and tell him that you won't kiss him or sleep with him until he has brushed his teeth. This may be affecting your attraction to him both in and out of the bedroom, and perhaps he needs to know. Sadly, if any area of the body is neglected and begins to smell, this can have an effect on a relationship, particularly a couple's sex life- and teeth are no different. If he feels that he cannot be intimate with you unless he takes action perhaps this will be the boost he needs.
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