Hi Brenda,

The important thing is distraction right now- go out with your friends, see your family (that is what they are there for), start a class or get a hobby. If you sit and dwell on it too much you will find it even harder to move on. Try to say yes to events even if you don't feel like it- the distraction will likely do you some good. Although it might not seem like it right now, if you look forward, things should get easier. Try to focus on those relationships that were perhaps neglected in favour of your partner and remember how important they are in your life too.  

Get some funny DVDs in the house, so when you have a sad moment stuff one in the DVD player and watch it pull yourself around. Talking about it with those closest to you will help too, so you can release those feelings and let them go. Writing a diary might also help to pour your feelings out onto the page, so they are not couped up inside. 

Try not to let this dent your confidence- it didn’t work out between you both but you are still able to get out there and find someone else. Try to put a positive spin on this- although it might be hard to do at the moment, try and focus a little more on you and what you want and get a fresh start. This could be your time to reinvent yourself and not have to worry about pleasing anyone else for a while.

Remember that break ups are due to both people not just one- so even if he left you, it is not a sign that you are a failure, just that together you didn’t quite gel well together for the long term.

You were part of a pair before, but you can be strong on your own again- you did this before you met and you can do it again.

Lucy x