Shelley asks :
Hi Lucy,
How do I get rid of the demons that creep into my head after going through three really bad relationships in the past? I have met the most caring thoughtful and loving guy. We have been together almost three years and he suffers because I don't believe what he says to me and how much he loves me. I don't want to lose him because of my problem.
Hi Shelley,
Agony Aunts on Female First
I would advise you to go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a counsellor or seek one out privately.
It sounds like you are still hanging on to the things your previous partners have said to you and believe them to be the truth- when whatever they said was just their opinion. Or you are haunted by the way they treat you.
It may take time to try and disbelieve these untruths and learn that you are deserving of love and kindness. With some expert guidance and advice you should be in a better position to accept the positive things your partner says to you and of his love and attempt to let go of what has gone before.
You don't necessarily have to believe the things yet, however he sees you through a different lens, and he has the right to see you as he finds you- which sounds to be in a very good light. He doesn't have the baggage of your previous relationships so he is able to see you for you and it's untainted by anything. Perhaps eventually, his view of you might be a positive influence on the way you see yourself, however for now- you might just need some extra support to get there.
The important thing to remember is that he is with you- no one is forcing him to stay or say these things- but he is so perhaps try and trust in his actions as they speak volumes.
tagged in Love relationships Partner
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