Danielle asks :

Hi Lucy,

My boyfriend has liked other girl’s photos online he also talks to one more than he talks to me. I checked his phone once and something he said was very inappropriate, he doesn’t ever like my photos and he makes me feel like I’m not worth it. Other than that he’s great to me I’m not sure if he’s pretending. I think he might cheat what should I do?

Our Reply

Hi Danielle,

If you are not happy with this then talking to him might be the answer here. He might be unaware that he is hurting you by doing this, so if you make him aware of it then he has the opportunity to change to make things better between you both.

Perhaps ask him how he would feel if you were doing the same. Boys can be quite jealous creatures over things like this so he might stop if he sees if from your point of view.

The issues of trust might have been there all along and made worse by this or this could have been the cause of you feeling like you are not ‘worth it’ now. Either way, this is an important part of  any relationship so if you can work on this then it could help you to stop seeing yourself this way.

At least with Facebook, you can confront him about it because it’s there for everyone to see. If you tell him about the phone checking he might then doubt the trust he has for you.

Maybe try to lay down some ground rules here. If you don’t like him liking other girl’s pictures and talking to them as often as he does then perhaps voice your concerns. If you keep quiet then he will likely continue and you will still feel like you do now.

If he is pretending then you will soon find out because he should make sacrifices to make you feel more secure in your relationship if he feels the same about you as you do him. If he doesn’t then you know that perhaps he doesn’t care about you as much as you thought he did.

 


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