Michelle asks :
Hi Lucy,
My ex-boyfriend and I once tried anal sex it was painful and his penis didn’t penetrate well- only the head went in. It was too slippery we then decided to stop...my questions is am I still a virgin?
Hi Michelle,
Agony Aunts on Female First
A virgin is defined as 'someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse', which is traditionally characterised by the penis entering the vagina- or 'vaginal intercourse' or 'vaginal sex'.
The loss of virginity is purely dependent on the individual as its meaning has changed over the years for heterosexuals as much as it has for people of other sexual orientations. Oral sex, anal sex and mutual masturbation also count as losing your virginity to some people.
In other words it's purely up to you as to whether you want to class the experience as losing your virginity or not.
I would suggest that if you do decide to have vaginal sex that you also make it as 'slippery' as possible. You can never have enough lube and the demand is greater than ever for it on your first time.
If you want to explore further with anal sex and his penis was too large- you could start small with a butt plug (from a reputable retailer!) to get you used to the sensation before trying it again. Or if you never want to try it again- that's fine too- it might be your body telling you it's not for you.
What I would stress is that YOU make sure you are ready for both (or either) and don't let your boyfriend pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable with.
tagged in boyfriend
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