Sophie asks :

Hi Lucy,

 

So I have this friend an he's really nice over text and says he wants to meet up a lot but whenever I invite him out with my friends he doesn't really reply and even if he says ‘yes’ never shows up. Our families meet up occasionally so it would be good to be friends but he just sends such mixed messages! Does he want to be friends or not?

Hi Sophie,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It sounds like he might just be shy. If your families are friends, then could you arrange a family get together so you are all in the company of people you know and are comfortable around? A summer barbecue perhaps? That way you might be able to spend some time with him in a relaxed atmosphere. He may be put off by the thought of seeing you and your friends if he is nervous around new people.

If he is nice over text, it sounds like he might want to start up a friendship, however texting is probably within his comfort zone, where face to face might not be.

If you manage to talk to him and feel a bit easier around one another, then this might encourage him to come out with you and your friends.

Have you asked him why he cancels on you? If not then perhaps ask the question. He may tell you the truth if he feels you have built up some trust together. If you feel that he is giving you mixed messages then it might help to be honest with him. If he cares about sustaining your friendship then it might encourage him to take you up on one of your invitations.


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