Ellen asks :
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years and are literally perfect for each other, however we are from total opposite sides of the country (300mile drive) as we met overseas; I have lived up North with him for two years in his parents house as he was doing a qualification and didn't want to quit half way through, so once he was fully qualified I started looking for jobs closer to home and got offered a fab job which I absolutely love but one month down the line, despite him having a job and us having our own space, my boyfriend decides to tell me he doesn't like it, he wants to move back, there's no middle ground and that's pretty much it! I am so happy here, I'm closer to my family, I love my job but obviously it's not for him, but the thing is he isn't willing to look at alternatives, the ultimatum is either I give up everything I want and move up North with him or we break up and I get to keep my job, family and friends BUT lose the love of my life!?! Completely torn up about it, please help. x
Yin replies
Hi Ellen thanks for writing in,
Relationships are about compromise- you moved to be with him because of his studies, so he should be a little more accommodating when it comes to this. If he is not prepared to respect your choice of career and your happiness at work then it is perhaps wise to reinforce this- he may not grasp just how much it means to you after one month.
Yang replies
Jobs are hard to come by these days, especially ones that are important to you so he needs to appreciate what you would be giving up. Reinforce the point that you moved for him in support of his career, so he should go somewhere to meeting you in the middle. If your partner cannot support you in these choices then he shows little respect for you and your future.
Good luck, x
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