Patricia asks :

Hi Lucy,

I am worried about a new relationship. We took things slow before sleeping together and his friends and family know all about me. But since sleeping together he doesn't seem as interested anymore. I have had experiences in the past where someone has just wanted sex but thought this was different. It is really starting to upset me because this seems so much more hurtful to really make me think he liked me over all this time. It hasn't been very long he's been this way so I don't know if I am just overreacting. I would like some advice. Do you think he just used me or I'm overreacting?

Hi Patricia,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It’s easy to think that history is repeating itself, if you have been hurt before and you feel that you are venturing down the same path. Perhaps if you are unsure then ask him where you stand. It could be better than trying to guess where you are at and continuing until your feelings potentially become stronger for him.

If it’s not been that long then maybe it’s an anomaly. If he has told his friends and family about you then that could be a good sign- for if he was thinking about breaking up with you then he might not have mentioned you. Also if all he wanted was sex then he might not have been willing to wait as long as he did to progress to this level.

It might be that the best place to start is with a conversation if this drags on any longer. Sex can make people act in different ways and it might be matter of finding out what his feelings are on it. 


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