Angel asks :
Hi Lucy,
7 months ago my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he decided it wasn't right religiously. I always wonder if that was the case... We continued talking for about 3 months after that until he said that he thinks the best thing to do is to stop talking "for me" as I kept bringing up the past. And he kept feeling bad... So I agreed, two weeks later he messaged me asking how I was etc... We stopped talking again until a month later because I couldn't stop thinking about him I messaged him asking how he was. We continued to talk and then stopped. He then messaged me a couple of days later saying sorry for hurting me and I said it was ok and it's all water under the bridge even though I still missed him dearly. After that it's always been me who's messaged him first after about a month. About 6/7 weeks ago I rang him and he was out, he called me back and we talked for about an hour. That was the first time I heard his voice and it did make me very happy. I'm now missing him again so much and just want to speak to him again but I keep wondering if he's moved on or if he probably thinks I'm being weird messaging him first or why he doesn't contact me first. I just don't know what to do, do I message him or do I keep missing him with no contact...
Our Reply
Hi Angel,
It sounds like he might have moved on or is at least trying to if he is not getting back in touch with you after you make contact. Speaking to him is likely very comfortable and familiar for you, however there is a chance that you can have this with someone else too. If he was keen to speak to you then he might have made more of an effort. He could think that not speaking to you will help him get over you more easily.
If you keep making contact and continue to get let down like this then it’s not helping you move on. Perhaps try to stop yourself from falling into the habit of calling him- at times when you really want to maybe try and distract yourself with something so you dont feel dependent on him to make you happy. If he wants you in his life then perhaps it’s time he made the first move. Try not to wait around for this to happen and get on with your life. If you put your life on hold for the next time he calls or texts then you might be waiting for a while and setting yourself up for hurt. Remember that if he broke up with you over religious reasons then the likelihood is, that will still stand if you wanted to pursue anything more again.
tagged in boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.