Holly asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have really strong feelings for this guy that I met at a party back in September. We were texting lots for a while then I went round his house with some of his friends for some drinks. Later, he sent them home and it was just me and him and we were messing around but I didn't want to lose my virginity yet so we stopped and everything was fine. It seemed fine the next morning too and I went home. We still texted after this but then it just stopped. He hasn't replied to texts, Snapchat or Facebook friend request and I'm worried that maybe he thinks I’m frigid? I don't know what else to think but i really like him and its making me really upset.
Our Reply
Hi Holly, thanks for getting in touch.
If you don’t want to lose your virginity yet then you don’t have to, whatever anyone else thinks. If he only wanted to sleep with you, which looks likely now he has not been in contact, then he is probably not the right guy for you. He might have put the effort in before because he assumed that you were going to sleep with him. Since that didn’t happen, then he has probably done you the greatest favour of all by backing off, because you know that he likely doesn’t want to be with you for anything more than sex.
I would suggest looking for someone who is going to treat you well and be considerate of the fact that you don’t want to throw away your virginity the first time you go back to a guy’s house. If you already have strong feelings for him, they have the potential to get stronger and if he does the same to your again, you will only be hurt further. Protect yourself and realise that you are better than to be ignored!
Good luck,
Lucy x
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