Sarah asks :

Hi Lucy,           

My boyfriend of 9 years broke up with me due to constant arguing, how am I meant to get over him?

Hi Sarah,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you constantly argued then it doesn't sound like things have been happy for either of you. It may seem really hard right now, but try to focus on how good it feels not to have to argue with him anymore and how freeing it feels not to have to fight with anyone to get through the day.

Break ups are more about getting out of the habits that you created with the person you were with and starting new ones on your own that you enjoy. Catch up with your friends and enjoy their company again- make sure you surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. If you are argued a lot with your partner then this might have sucked the positivity from you- so you perhaps need to inject some of that back into your life.

Use what didn't work in your last relationship and take that and channel it into looking for the opposite in your next one. You know what doesn't work, so focus on what will. Relationships are all a learning curve- and each one that doesn't work out gives you more strength and more awareness of what you need and want from your future. Make a list of things you can do now you are single and do them- if you focus on the future- it will stop you wallowing in the past.


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