Lindsay asks :
Hi Lucy,
I got together with my sister's boyfriend's best friend. But whenever we argue or go on dates like the cinema my sister and her boyfriend thinks she should come with me. I don't really know what to do. We thought it would be fine going out as we love each other and love spending time together but people are being weird and many people think it is strange. I need advice; my sister keeps getting her nose in and is always asking what we are doing. Of course we try to avoid her but she is trying her hardest to break us. Which sometimes it works. What would you do if you love someone, but was in the set up I am in?
Hi Lindsay,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps the best thing to do here is just to talk to her. It can be difficult when you are all so closely knit- lines can be crossed without even knowing.
Perhaps you could arrange a double date say once a month so that the rest of the dates you have to yourselves. That way you perhaps don't feel you have to go out all together all the time. If your have a regular day and time each month then at least people won't feel awkward the rest of the time if you don't see each other. Or could you spend some time with your sister alone instead of as a group so you are not losing the person you love and who you love spending time with?
If you feel she is interfering in your relationship then it might be worth not telling her the intimate details- just what you want her to know. Your relationship is yours at the end of the day- so it should really only involve the two of you- not a third party. Especially if it's causing friction between you and your boyfriend.
She might be doing or saying things thinking that it's in your best interest- for she could have a protective streak in her if she is older or has always taken that role in your relationship.
If she has been together with her boyfriend or a while sometimes it can be tempting to get swept up in a new romance if you miss the honeymoon period in your own relationship so maybe talking to her will make her realise that she has perhaps gone too far.
If this is all new, then it might just be the excitement of it all- being able to double date and bring all of the people she cares about together in one place all at once. This could wear off after a while, however if you express your feelings sooner, then it might stop it from being the same as it is now. If you establish some ground rules now then it could prevent bigger arguments down the line.
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