Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I slept on a couch with my legs on another guy’s lap while my boyfriend was at home. He found out and now he doesn't trust me what should I do?
Hi Anonymous,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Although it may not have meant anything to you, it is understandable that your boyfriend reacted negatively. How would you have felt if he was doing the same with another woman? By seeing it from his point of view, it might help you to realise why he responded in the way he did. He might have been worried that it could have amounted to more.
There are certain expressions of affection that are arguably only reserved for your partner and putting your legs over another man's lap might be misinterpreted as you trying to get comfortable or flirting with him.
Why did you do it? Perhaps it would help to be honest about your intentions. Did you want to feel attractive to another man to feel better about yourself? Did you want to make your boyfriend jealous to feel more loved? Try to explain to him that went through your head, if he can understand why you did it then it might help him to trust you again.
He may just need some time to cool down, if it is still raw, then he might come around and realise that you didn't cheat on him, but perhaps made an error in judgement. He may have reacted the way he did because he fears losing you, or because he doesn't give you enough affection and this reinforced the point.
This may have happened through his insecurity as much as it did your actions, so if you can meet in the middle by talking and discussing boundaries then this could help you in future to trust and not hurt each other unknowingly.
tagged in boyfriend
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