John asks :
Hi Lucy,
I am attracted to a woman at work. She was initially into me- she always brought me things, looked after me so much, gave me so many gifts at my birthday and made me teas/coffees. Initially I was rude to her because my colleagues thought it was a bit OTT. Then I felt guilty and started being nice to her and now I look forward to seeing her every day. I’m already married and she is getting married within days. Now she is leaving work and I am finding it emotionally very difficult to deal with. Please help
Hi John,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps the reason you are so drawn to her is because you associate her with good things. If she is constantly showering you with gifts and treats, then perhaps when you think of her there is always a positive thought process.
If your partner is not paying you much attention at home then it is expected that you will look fondly on those who are attentive to your needs elsewhere. Maybe you crave the feeling of being looked after right now?
Perhaps use this experience to address voids in your own marriage if this woman has made you realise the things that are missing in your existing relationship that you want back.
Maybe re-establishing an emotional connection with your wife might make it easier to get over this woman by shifting your focus from one to the other.
Perhaps she was a threat to your marriage at some point, however now she has left- it gives you the chance to focus all your energy on improving things at home.
tagged in married
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