Claire asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend and I have had trouble because he used to go out and have big drinking sessions and disappear because his phone would die and he wouldn’t answer. Then he stopped going out on weekends and only went out on week days and that didn't seem so bad. Now he's said he wants to go out on the weekend again as even if he only has 2-4 beers he gets a hangover and doesn't want go to work like that. However I'm worried it's going end up being big nights again, like before. On Saturday everyone is always having a big drink up, and he's got no reason to not get smashed and go out after as he's got no work. And also that if he goes out Friday/Saturday it means the hangover is the next day and we won't be able to do anything nice together that day as he won't want to. What do I say to him? It's bothering me since he mentioned it and I feel miserable. Please answer me :)
Hi Claire,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If this has not started up again, then it gives you a chance to talk to him about it and perhaps negotiate with him over the weekend situation.
If he does go out without you then perhaps suggest that he charges his phone before he leaves so you can contact him in case you need to. Could you suggest he just do one night over the weekend? A Friday or a Saturday then at least you could have one of the days together. If he is hangover on Saturday then at least you have Sunday together and vice versa. Or would it be possible to alternate weekends so you have an entire weekend together every two weeks?
It is not the best idea to go to work with a hangover as he could risk getting into trouble so what he is suggesting does make sense, maybe you just need to come up with a compromise. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend quality time with your partner over the weekend and if he would rather spend it with his friends than you then perhaps you need to find someone who is willing to find a balance in his life between you and his mates.
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