Hi Lucy,

If you were arguing all the time then chances are it was a difficult relationship to be happy in. The odd disagreement is healthy, but if arguments were commonplace then that might not have felt so good.

He could have ended it out of anger; however, if you have been inharmonious for a while now then it might not have been such a snap decision.

It is a positive step that you have realised you have perhaps been ‘stubborn’ and ‘selfish’ at times and this is potentially something that you need to work on in future relationships. Try to remember, however that it was not just what you did that caused its demise, both people in the pairing need to take some responsibility for it ending, not just one.

It might be that you argued over the small and petty things because you were not right for each other. Couples who are a good match often have little niggles but they might not turn into huge disagreements. Often couples who are wrong for each other will look at the small things to avoid the larger problem; that the relationship is toxic for both of them.

You could talk to him and tell him that you are prepared to change. Now you have recognised what it is that you have done to affect the relationship then you are in a more informed place to help make differences. You could tell him what you feel he also needs to do differently if you are to have a second attempt at being together.

If he has already made up his mind then remember that he might not want to change it. The best you can do if you want to get back together is promise to do things differently and hope that he will do the same to make another go of things. Couples that do get back together need to work exceptionally hard at not letting their relationship fall back into the way it did before. It all depends if both of you are willing to put the effort into pulling it back on track.

If he feels he has made a mistake, then chances are he will come back to you- if not- then you might be better off looking for a new person to be with.