Ruby asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend has recently gone back to prison on remand and soon will be in crown court for trial. Everyone will think I’m stupid for staying with him but I’ll feel down and rubbish if I don't. I'm stuck! I thought about seeing how it goes whilst he is away and stay in contact but if he is found guilty and gets a longer sentence I won't be able to cope with it all. I just don't know what to do! I also need to look after myself as have an ongoing mental illness. Help me, please.
Hi Ruby,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If you are struggling with your mental health, then it might be time to see a counsellor. While you are finding ways to cope with what's happening with your partner, this extra support might help you to decide whether you want to stay with your boyfriend or if you feel compelled to because of the situation.
Despite what people think, it is your decision to stick by him or not. People will always have opinions on other's relationships whatever a couple is going through. That said, they may just be thinking about your mental health and how this is going to affect it, which is an important consideration.
If you can anticipate the feelings you mention, then perhaps seeing someone would help you to examine some of them and find ways to potentially cope with the situation better.
You are right; you do need to look after yourself. You must ensure that you are in a good place before you can be of any support to your boyfriend. It might be worth figuring out what tools you need first before you can decide what you can then do to be there your partner- if you do wish to stay with him.
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