Paula asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have been in a completely sexless marriage for over 4 and a half years now and I have just spent the night with an ex and had the time of my life. He is also in a relationship but things are a bit stale. Now both our heads are all over the place. I don't know how to feel with my husband. I would walk but we have two kids. There's no chance of us reconciling the sex as we've only done it about 6 times and my daughter was last time when she was conceived. Help
Our Reply
Hi Paula,
Have you considered going to see a relationship counsellor to discuss why he won’t have sex with you anymore? Or about what has been going through your mind for the last 4 years and before meeting up with your ex?
Even though people make vows not to stray, it can be difficult if one isn’t fulfilling one of theirs. Perhaps talk to your husband and see if he will recognise that the issue might warrant some professional input.
Perhaps try to focus on your marriage first before thinking about what could happen with your ex. This could confuse things for you at an already fragile time, given that he is also in a relationship.
It might be that you and your partner have both fallen out of love with one another and could potentially remain civil for the sake of your children, but have separate lives from one another and remain just as friends.
Whatever you decide, if you are not content with your marriage, then maybe the best place to start this journey is by discussing your options for the future with your husband.
tagged in Marriage Relationship Husband yin and yang agony aunt
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