Olivia asks :
Hi Lucy,
Last September I started seeing this guy from university. Everything was great but just before Christmas we were on a night out together and he was trying to get with another girl in front of me. I asked him what was going on and he admitted he was never looking for anything serious as he had just come out of a long relationship and thought I was cool with being casual. I said I wasn't and we ended things. I was annoyed he hadn't been clearer about his intentions earlier. Over the Christmas break I didn't even care about him or think about him and didn't reply to the few texts he sent me asking how I was since I no longer liked him due to his actions that night out. But now I've come back to university I cannot stop thinking about what happened. I don't even fancy him anymore or want him back but I can't stop looking at his Facebook and wondering what he's doing. He lives opposite me at university and I get really uncomfortable going out on my own in case I see him! I recently saw him on a night out but it didn't bother me at all as I have no feelings towards him and as I was with my friends I just continued having a good time. So if I don't have any feelings for him anymore I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about it and looking at his Facebook! I also kind of want him to text me just so I can feel like I meant something to him! How will I ever stop thinking like this and be able to get on with my life again?! Thank you
Hi Olivia,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Chances are that you feel worse now you are back at university because you might bump into him where at home there was no danger of this. Other people around you know what happened between you and are likely to ask questions about the nature of your relationship. There are constant reminders of him all around you. The more you see him around the easier it should get. Try to keep reminding yourself that you want different things so it wouldn’t work out and that you aren’t attracted to him anymore. Rejection can linger, but try to focus on your next potential love rather than your old ones.
If you ignored his texts over Christmas he is probably assuming that you don’t want to speak to him, hence why he has stopped now. It sounds like it meant something to him, as he bothered to try and stay in touch, however he is likely just acting in response to your lack of contact back.
We are all curious creatures and most of us do a bit of Facebook browsing after a break up- this is perfectly normal. If you want to stop obsessing over his actions and who he is with perhaps stop yourself from doing this as it won’t help you to move on.
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