Lucie asks :

Hi Lucy,

 

I am in my third year at university and have a really close group of friends that do stuff together a lot and really nice housemates that all get on with each other. I really enjoy going out to lectures and love a good night out with my friends but I constantly feel like I am on an emotional roller-coaster. Last year I was so motivated and concentrated so well on essays and exams but this year I feel like I've totally lost interest which is evident in my results and it worries me as I want to do a Masters so need a 2:1 degree. I am constantly homesick when I have never been before. I miss being able to see my family every day and being in a comfy warm house and the tiniest thing upsets me and reminds me of home. In my second year I was so happy and loving life but now one minute I feel the same and the next I am in tears just wanting to go home. I feel like I am being really silly, not normal and childish since I am nearly 21 and in my final year but I really want to enjoy this last ever term of university but find myself wishing it away. Going out and hanging with friends makes me really happy but being in third year I've way too much work to be doing that all the time but sitting in my room makes me feel lonely and homesick which I don't get why as I have great friends and housemates but this makes me not concentrate on my work at all!! Please help and tell me what I should do about it!

 

Hi Lucie,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It could be the third year pressure is getting to you. There is a lot at stake- you have worked hard for two years towards this moment and sometimes the stress can go in the other direction, hence you socialising more and studying less. The thought of what you will do afterwards is always looming, so this won’t help either.

Homesickness can strike at the unlikeliest of times- you have been away from home for a couple of years but when things get stressful, the one place you want to return to is where you know you are safe, and for a lot of people that is at home with your family. I would suggest that when you feel like this, giving them a call. I know it’s not the same as being with them but parents are full of wisdom and good advice and sometimes talking to them can make you feel like you again. Perhaps look at the things that you like so much about home and recreate them where you are- if it’s a comfy warm environment, a cup of hot chocolate, a meal or your favourite TV show- try to bring a little bit of home to you to make your environment more welcoming and comfortable.

It would be shame to let your last two years go to waste- it sounds like the socialising is acting as a distraction for you from your work and your feelings. But no matter how often you go out you will still be faced with them the next morning. Try to focus on your goal, of getting that 2:1 and going on to do your masters, this might help you to power through. If you put things in perspective, you are so close to the end, just that one last push will get you there.

Universities offer a great counselling service for students with a whole range of issues. Why not pop to the doctors and ask for a referral, just so you can talk it out with someone? This might help you get your thoughts organised and your drive back.


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