Valerie asks :

Hi Lucy,

I have a male friend, and we see each other but I know he is not ready for a relationship. I asked him to go out the other weekend and he said he had arrangements. He came for dinner last Saturday and I asked him how his weekend with his grandson had gone. He told me he was in bad books because he had gone on a dancing weekend with another female friend. She is telling everyone that they spent quality time together because they don't see each other enough. Should I still keep seeing him or should I ask him if they are in a relationship? I am happy with his company and would like more but have been given the impression he does not want a relationship with anyone. If it happens it happens.

Hi Valerie,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you don't ask him you might always be left wondering- so it might be worth bringing it up. If it happens it happens is a very organic process but you could be waiting a long time if neither of you makes the first move. You asked him out and he had plans- so it was not a rejection- which could mean that he would go on a date with you if he is free.

You are only operating on the impression that he doesn't want a relationship not a certainty- so perhaps he is in the right place to start something up. Perhaps enquire about the other woman first and if he seems smitten and is talking about her in a romantic sense then that might be enough to answer your question.

If not then you could ask him and if he is not interested just go back to normal, spending time in his company which you seem to treasure so much.


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