Jarvis asks :

 Hi Lucy, 

I'm a guy but I wanted to see if you could help me out with a bit of a situation I'm in. I met this girl last year and we've been best friends since pretty much the day we met. We're such similar people and completely click yet we're so different at the same time it's pretty amazing. We both agreed that we don't want to get into a relationship and ruin what we have because it's so amazing. Recently, however, she made out with a guy on a night out which was fine but then it started making me feel really horrible. She's also been going on dates recently which makes me feel that I'm going to lose her. I don't really understand what to do because if I tell her how I feel it has the potential to ruin everything. Going a bit crazy because she means so much to me... HELP!

Hi Jarvis,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

There is no harm in admitting that you feel she might be slipping away from you- even as friends. If you are close then maybe tell her how you feel and ask that even if she does get into a relationship that she will still make time for you. It may not is as much time as before-so you may have to make the most of when you do see each other.

It is natural to feel jealousy when a friend gets some attention from the opposite sex or is going on dates. For you- it could mean that you like her more than a friend and are ready to take it to the next level. Or it could simply mean that she has moved on and you haven't and this is highlighting that point. If you want to keep things as they are then you have to realistically expect that she might find a guy to be with romantically. If you don't want her to be with anyone but you than perhaps it's time to come clean and tell her how you feel.

She may have been dating in the hope that you might tell her you have changed your mind. You won't know until you talk to her. If you have already spoken about being an item before then it may not be as taboo the second time around, and if she still feels the same it might make it easier to go back to being friends.


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