Dee asks :

Hey Lucy,

So I've just started dating this guy and everything is going so well but he has a 3 year old son and I'm 19 and he's 24. I'm not really sure how to deal with this whole son thing, and I don't know whether it will stop us in the future. I haven't met his son and I'm not really sure if I want too, I just don't know how to deal with it all cause I've never had something like this before. Please help me x

Our Reply

Hi Dee,

Perhaps just take it as his pace- he knows his son the best and how to deal with him, so maybe let him take the reins on this one. If the occasion arises where he asks you to meet him then judge it then on how you feel. If you are apprehensive about the prospect then you could be truthful with him. If you have not had a lot of children in your life, then the instinct of how to interact with them might not be there for you yet and it can be scary to think of how to act and what to say around them.

If you don’t want children at all then it might be worth bringing this up before things get any more serious between the both of you. If you are not ready for them yet, then meeting his son might be something that you put off until later.

If you really care about each other then you will likely find a way to make this work and it might not be as bad as you think it is right now. You might find that you are a natural with his son, if not then you can learn at a pace that is comfortable for you. 


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