Jodie asks :
Hi Lucy,
Really hope you can help!! So I was at my best friend’s birthday and got chatting to this guy who is a friend of his brother let’s call him Steve.. (who I’ve had a thing with). Things never got serious between me and 'Steve' but he hates seeing me with other guys. Me and this new guy ended up having a little kiss and exchanging numbers and now he texts me all the time. He’s so nice and seems genuine but says things that are so full on that sometimes it makes me question if he is being genuine, a creep or playing me. Not only that but all his friends (who are also friends with Steve) have added me on FB recently even though they’ve known them for quite some time. I’m not the most confident girl in the world and feel like I’m being played as some sort of joke just when I think I might be starting to like this guy!! Am I being a complete insecure drama queen or do you think this guy could actually like me for me??
Hi Jodie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This does sound like you are getting very mixed messages here.
If he hates seeing you with other guys this could be a sign that he likes you but it could also be a sign that he is playing the alpha male and doesn’t want to share you with anyone else. This could be both good and bad. He might want you or he might not- but not let anyone else get the chance to either.
If he texts you all the time then there seems to be some interest there, however it would be nice to know in what capacity. Why not ask him out on date, somewhere public, so he is free of his friends, and all other outside influences? You should be able to tell pretty quickly what his intentions are then because he might have no choice but to be genuine with you. Texts and Facebook messages can only go so far, but body language and facial expression might be able to give you more of a heads up.
What I would say is that if your gut is telling you that you are being played then it might be wise to go with that. Often we have gut reactions for a reason and you could be right on this occasion.
If you generally are an insecure person, then if he is playing you, try not to take it to heart. In a way you are better off knowing before you like him anymore that you do now or you could end up feeling hurt a lot more than if you find out he’s not what you thought later down the line.
His friends could have added you on Facebook to find out how you spend your time and see if you are single or seeing anyone casually. Then they could relay that back to this guy, or they might be at a point where they feel they know you better to add you and engage with you more. It’s possible that one or a few of them like you too and are looking to make a move.
There are so many possibilities here, but it seems like there might that many people involved that perhaps meeting up for a coffee, or a meal out, somewhere public, could give you the space and time you need to figure out if this guy is for real. Or you could try to forget about him and move on.
You might need to listen to your inner compass and trust yourself over anyone else around you and hopefully you will make the right decision.
tagged in Kiss Birthday yin and yang best friend agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.