Kate asks :
Hi Lucy,
I get jealous of my boyfriend going out with male and female mates. Am I a bad girlfriend? Should i feel like that? Is it normal or is it that I love him too much what could it all mean?
Hi Kate,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Many partners feel jealous when their loved one goes out with their friends. It can make people feel insecure if they think their partner is having more fun with their mates than with them. The way you are feeling is perfectly normal; it's just how you deal with it that counts. It doesn't make you a bad girlfriend- it just shows that you enjoy spending time together and miss him when you don't.
If the problem is because some of his friends are the opposite sex, there may some trust issues in your relationship that need to be addressed.
If these friendships were around before you started going out, then chances are they are just that and may have always been. Perhaps you could go out with them to find out who he considers his closest mates and what he sees in them. You may discover that you get on well with them all and that the women want nothing more than a friendship from him. They may all be in relationships too.
The fact is; people are happier in their relationships when they feel they can go out with their friends, when they can enjoy the company of their mates as well as their partner. If you were to start and ask him not to go this could drive you apart. You would potentially be asking him to alter who he is and who he sees, which may be interpreted as you trying to control him. No relationship can be successful under these circumstances.
If you trust him, then he will appreciate you being ok with him socialising outside of your relationship. If you don't, then perhaps that's the real issue here.
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