Jen asks :

Hi Lucy,

My job allows me up to 2 hours between patients. My boyfriend works as a supervisor in a large busy cafe/bar a few times a week. I go to his work to visit him and he keeps telling me he will get in trouble if I am "hanging around". I don't see why his manager would have a problem with this. My boyfriend still gets his work done. Why does my boyfriend say this and does his manager have the right to tell him that I can't hang around to spend time with him while he is working? Is my boyfriend just spineless for not standing up to his manager?

Hi Jen,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It is a positive thing that you get to spend some time with your boyfriend between working hours, many couples are not afford the same opportunity, however not at the detriment to one or both of your jobs.

Although your boyfriend still gets his work done, perhaps his manger is concerned about the distraction you might pose- making his work slower than usual. Perhaps the café or bar is very customer service focused and requires the staff to be vigilant about the people who come and go and the service they provide. Mystery shoppers quite often visit places such as this so the staff need to be prepared for this inevitability.

If this is the case then your boyfriend might benefit from having no distractions so he can do his job with maximum concentration. Especially if like you say it's busy- turnover is everything in a place like this.

If you go and don't buy anything- his manager might see you as someone who is taking up the seat of a paying customer. His manger might not be able to throw you out, however this could have repercussions for your boyfriend.

Are you able to make your breaks coincide so you are both free to chat? If not then it might be worth waiting until you get home to see him. He is the supervisor so he needs to set an example and if all of the staff invite their partners to work and talk to them, then the entire team is not on their game, which the manger will in turn have to take responsibility for.

Would your manager have an issue if your partner came into your workplace and sat with you while you were working? If so, then what you are doing might be no different except that it's in a more public place. Perhaps wait until home time to catch up- you will have more to talk about if you do.


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