Betsy Boo asks :

Hi Lucy,

My boyfriend walked out on me after over 8 years after I had a night out with two old school girlfriends. I got extremely drunk as we hadn’t had a get together in years and I text him late at night calling him another man’s name. He wouldn’t talk to me or answer my texts/phone calls. Then a month or two later he started texting me again just with general chit chat and I thought there was hope! But every time I mention us/feelings or anything like that, he ignores me for a few days and then starts texting again every day! I’ve written him emails and asked how he feels about me and he ignores them and me again for a few days and then so on and so forth! I have convinced myself (4+ months after splitting up) that there is no hope of us being together again. I think he is playing mind games with me. What do you think?

 

Hi Betsy Boo,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It sounds like you have done everything within your power to try and explain yourself to get him back. It seems that this message has made him lose his trust in you because he has made wrong assumptions about what the text was about. If he won't accept the truth, then perhaps there is nothing you can do to change his mind right now.

If he won't tell you his feelings, it sounds like he might be confused about them, especially since he is texting you and then ignoring you. If he won't discuss his feelings with you then perhaps he just wants to be friends. If the text messages he sends you now have no romantic content then perhaps he just misses your company and wants to maintain something platonic.

Eight years is a long time to be with someone to break up over a misunderstanding, but as long as he holds onto this then it might not matter what you do if he truly believes that there was something more to the message.

What you can control is your life now, so perhaps you need to find someone who doesn't make you feel like your having mind games played on you.


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