Orla asks :

Hi Lucy,

My husband and I have been together 7 years married 3. Over the years I've always had doubts of our relationship whether he's the one for me. More recently I've started doubting it 2/3 times a week!! We have 2 beautiful children together. He is my best friend and I do love him. I'm just not sure what's going on in my head???? I'm at home with the children 24/7 and he's out working every day. He does little when he comes home. At times I get so frustrated at him and maybe even resent him a little. Our sex life is nearly non-existent- at the minute I'm so tired and can't be bothered or no interest in him. He's a good hard working man.. But is it enough????? Please help and advice would be much appreciated.

Our Reply

Hi Orla,

It might be that you are spending so much time apart that when you do come together you are both tired, him from a day at work and you from taking care of the kids and home. This can lead to a lack of sexual drive and getting snappy with one another.

Maybe a trip away just the two of you could rekindle things. Perhaps you have neglected your couple time while other things have got in the way and you just need a week or so to rest and spend some quality time together again. Or a regular weekend away.

Feeling resentful of your partner is very normal, because his job might end at 5pm, but yours is 24/7, so it’s possible that you are never getting a break from it all.

You have a good foundation to work on if he is your best friend and you love him still, so perhaps a bit of a push from you both would make things better. Have you talked to him about his lack of help around the house or that you are feeling a bit disconnected right now? If you talk to him- he might tell you that he is feeling the same way.

Could you ask him for one day a week that is just yours? So you can read, go to a spa, have a pamper session- anything so you feel like you are getting a break from your weekly routine? This might recharge your batteries on a regular basis and give you some energy to put back into your relationship again and feel more positive about it.

 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.