Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I moved in with my partner last year I packed my bags and moved an hour and half away from my family to live with him after just 6 months (an hour and half is a big deal for me as I am very family orientated). I managed to get my perfect job with my boyfriend’s help. We are head over heels in love the only problem is he doesn't ever want children. About a month ago he brought up the fact he never ever wants kids and he won't budge on that. I have always wanted kids and I don't think that will ever change. When we had this conversation I said that's fine I can get over it and not have them. Now I think about it constantly and I know deep down I need children in my life.
Hi Anonymous,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This is a huge thing to negotiate over- especially if you are the one who is denying yourself of what you really want.
It sounds like the relationship has given you a lot of good things- like your perfect job and love; however it sounds like it has also made you give up things that are a priority in your life- such as living close to your family and now this issue with children.
If you told him this is something you can cope with then he may assume it's not as big an issue as it is, so it might be worth coming clean. If you tell him the truth it doesn't sound like he will be pushed into having family when he doesn't want it- but at least he will know where you stand.
Either way- one of you is probably going to be unhappy. You need to ask yourself if you love him enough to give up something you have always wanted or if being with him is more important than that.
Before you make any more commitments to each other you need to figure this out- if you plan to marry or get a mortgage it will only make it harder to leave if you decide that children are a must for you and he stays firm on his decision.
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