New@dating asks :

Hi Lucy,

I recently started a relationship and things are going great until I told my friend I'm in a relationship. I told her it was with a colleague of hers. When I mentioned his name she called immediately and told me to end it. I asked her why and she said that according to other people and rumours, he has a girlfriend and a child. Before dating the guy I did ask if he is single. How do I go about confronting/asking my boyfriend and sorting this out??

Our Reply

Hi New@dating,

Your friend probably wouldn’t have called you so soon if she didn’t believe the rumours, so it sounds like it’s worth investigating. Perhaps the best port of call here is just to be honest- you have heard about his personal life and wondered if it’s true. You are entitled to know if you are in an open relationship if what you want is monogamy. He may have assumed that you are in an open relationship and its ok, or he might be hiding it from you because he is going behind his girlfriend’s back.

If you are vague in finding out then he might end up fabricating the truth to avoid answering the questions so if you are direct he has no choice but to answer you honestly.

If the tables were turned would he ask you? It might just be office gossip, but it might be better to find out before your feelings become any stronger for him.  


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