Mary asks :
Hi Lucy,
My husband has ordered disgusting female clothing from a website, presumably for himself! Or another woman. Should I tackle him about this?
Hi Mary,
Agony Aunts on Female First
I would suggest that you not jump to conclusions and talk to him first. He may have ordered it for you- or it might be for someone else or for himself. You don’t know until you approach him about it.
If he has begun to wear women’s clothes then he may need you to be patient and understanding with him while he explains. You might not understand it right now, however if he tells you all the details, then it may be something that you can work through together.
If it is for another woman then you deserve to know- but ‘tackling’ him on the issue might get you nowhere, so perhaps ask him for the truth. If it is what you fear, then you need to talk about if your relationship is salvageable, through counselling for instance, or if you want to go your separate ways. If the postal address is to your home- would he realistically send it to the house he shares with you if he was trying to cover up an affair?
If it is for you then maybe he is looking to spice things up in the relationship, in which case, if you are not happy about him going about it this way, then talk about what you are comfortable with. If you prefer to go out and buy your own lingerie etc., then he needs to know for future reference.
If the tables were turned then he would likely want to know who these items are for. If you expect him to be honest with you then perhaps you need to begin with telling him what you have found and the possible conclusions you have come to.
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