Lola asks :
Hi Lucy,
I’ve just ended my relationship with someone I deeply love as I can't find a solution to this problem. When he drinks, he's unable to stop, he'll go for a "quick" drink at 2pm and then I won't see or hear from him again for 24hrs. He has excuse after excuse being that his phone died etc., but it always happens. He doesn't seem to understand why it's a problem to me, I have a daughter from a previous relationship and my father was an alcoholic so I really do not want alcohol in my life like this especially around her. Is there anyway though this? As everything else is perfect until his friends come before us asking him to go out for a drink.
Hi Lola,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps if you take some time out he might come to realise how much of a problem this is for you and try to cut back to save his relationship. If he doesn't then this could be an indicator of how little he cares for you and respects your wishes. If you have a child and have already experienced what it's like to grow up with an alcoholic father than it is understandable that you don't want your daughter to go through the same.
That said if he is an alcoholic then he might need some help. If you love him and everything else is going well, then he may need your support to come off the alcohol altogether if it's out of control. There are plenty of places out there that offer help for alcoholics so perhaps you could talk to him and suggest some outside intervention. He needs to recognise that he has an addiction first (if he does) and be willing to change his ways- so this might be the most challenging part for you if he doesn't think there is anything wrong.
Could you talk to his family and ask for some extra help to get him back on track? You might not be able to this on your own so ask for assistance from anyone you can if you feel you need it.
tagged in Relationship
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