Anne asks :
Hey I'm 20 a working woman and in a relationship with a 27 year old who is also working, he has recently started a new job which involves a lot of work after work hours. This means he hardly sees me, makes me feel quite alone and sad. Is this normal?
Hi Anne,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It is understandable that you might feel alone and sad right now- so maybe while he is a bit distant you could spend some time with your friends and family or get a hobby and try not to rely on him so much to make you happy and entertained. If you have spent a lot of time together lately, then it will feel like a shock, however it is not necessarily a sign of anything wrong with your relationship or you.
Everyone likes to make a good impression when they start a new job. Perhaps give him some time to settle into things and the longer hours might reduce once he gets his head around his duties and expectations. I would say it is very normal for a relationship to have to make some sacrifices when one of the partners gets a new role. Try not to see is as a personal thing, as he would likely spend more time with you if he felt he could.
Perhaps just make the most of the time you get together more- try to meet up at weekends for instance. That said; he may be tired so some chilled out date nights might also be on the cards. The long hours will hopefully dial back given time.
If you were in his shoes, perhaps you would hope for some understanding and leniency from him, so maybe this is your time to show him that you support his career choices and that you will be there for him just as you were when he has more time on his hands. Maybe the roles will be reversed in future so how you act about this now may have some impact on how he will approach a potential promotion for you later down the line.
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