Sammy asks :

Hey Lucy,

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months now, things seem to be going well and the sex is great but he is now trying to plan a future and asking when we can have children. I don't think I'm ready for that step but he seems so happy and I don't want to upset him.

Our Reply

Hi Sammy,

If you feel things are going well in the relationship then it is good that he also thinks enough about you to talk about the future. Despite it being a big gesture it’s a positive one. That said; if he wants something different for your future than you do now rather than later is probably best time to broach the subject with him.

If you are simply not ready yet then there is nothing to say that you won’t stay together and go down this path later. If you never want it then it could be a bigger problem down the line. This can be a deal breaker for some couples- so be sure that you have aspirations for the same things.

If you want to stay with him, then perhaps reassure him that you see a future with you together in it, but that you are not ready to plan a family yet. This will give him the confidence in the relationship and that you are both headed in the same direction, just not as fast as he would like it to be.

One thing that can rock a relationship is being forced into something that you don’t really want, so he needs to be respectful of your plans and wishes for this to work.

Lucy x 


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