Scarlett asks :

Hi Lucy,

Should I break up with him? We've been with each other for three years. However for a couple of months I've been feeling really down as we never do anything, and when I ask if we can go somewhere he'll say he has no money, but then I hear he's gone out with his friends and it makes me really mad. It courses a lot of arguments, and I don't know if it's worst as I focus all my attention on him as I've seemed to lose a lot of friends and he has a lot. Although I have thought a lot about breaking up with him I think I would be very lonely without him, and it would be extremely difficult as I love him to pieces but I don't think he feels the same.

Our Reply

Hi Scarlett,

If he says money is the issue then there are lots of things you can do if there is not a lot to go around. A DVD night in with a home cooked meal, now the weather is picking up- a picnic, a walk, baking together- playing a board game with each other; sex! Cheap fun can be found in lots of things when you are a couple- you just need to know where to look and make the most of your time together.

It could be that you have lost a lot of friends because you have spent most of your time with him and as you say ‘focus all your attention on him’- why not try to rekindle your friendship group and then you can go out while he is with his mates? That way you won’t be sat in alone thinking of what he is doing without you.

If you don’t think he feels the same then it might be worth talking about this. If all of you are doing is arguing then try to have a meaningful conversation with him rather than it descending into war. Try to ask him to see things from your point of view and see if can understand how its making you feel. You both need that friend time to spend some nights apart as spending all your time together is not healthy. That said, if he doesn’t feel the same, you should perhaps ask him for his honesty- it is not fair on you to lead you on if his feelings have changed. You need the opportunity to move on rather than stay in a relationship where emotions are mismatched. 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.