Bob asks :

 Hi Lucy, 

A few of my best friends have hacked into my Facebook account and took photos of my messages between other friends. This caused a lot of damage between my friendship group. These four "best friends" let one of my other friends take the blame for this and let us all think it was him. Only one of the four girls actually hacked the account but the other three knew and didn't tell me. They were disloyal towards me but I don't know whether to forgive them as they say they are sorry. Please help.

 

Hi Bob,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

People do make mistakes within friendship groups, it happens- what matters is how it's dealt with afterwards by both parties. If they are sorry and you are willing to give things another go, then you might have the right ingredients to salvage your friendship.

That said, this girl went out of her way to hack into your account, blame someone else and didn't tell you what happened- all of which sound premeditated rather than the result of an accident. Is this unusual behaviour for her? If not, then she may do something similar in future, with the support of your other friends.

If these girls have never hurt you in the past, then they may have learned their lesson from this incident and it might remain a one off in your friendship history. If you genuinely believe that they won't do something like this to you again, then it may be worth trying to get back to normal.

It is admirable that you want to forgive them and are considering giving them a second chance. It seems that your decision comes down to two options; either to forgive them and move on or forgive them and move away.

If this is one of a catalogue of disloyalties, then it might be time to find some new friends, whom you can trust never to invade your private conversations and pictures.


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