Alex asks :

Hi Lucy,

Should I stay with my partner of 3 years when he's given me an STD? He claims he hasn't cheated and I know I haven't.

 

Hi Alex,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

I presume that if you have been diagnosed with an STD that you know which one you have.

If it's an STD that can only be transmitted through sex, like Chlamydia then it's highly likely that he had sex with someone else.

If it's one that can be transferred through skin to skin contact such as genital warts (through just touching someone's hand), then there could be another explanation as to how he got it and there is possibility he may not have cheated on you.

Contact with an infected toilet seat that touched a break in the skin is unlikely but possible. A damp towel that already carried the infection might also be responsible if it came into contact with his broken skin. A hand towel in a public bathroom for instance can transfer Trichomoniasis from person to person if the skin is wounded.

Another way is by sharing razors with someone who is infected as it can cause cuts and therefore ways in for the infection to take hold. Does he live in a house share?

If he has cheated and you are undecided as to whether to stay with him or not then perhaps some counselling would help you both to explore why he did it and what it means for your relationship moving forward if you do want to try again.

If he hasn't, then it may have temporarily rocked the trust in your relationship, which will need to be repaired. Perhaps some counselling could also help with this to discuss the feelings associated with this discovery and the conclusions that were drawn when you found out.


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