Alex asks :
My boyfriend recently broke up with me. After a couple of days we decided to speak and he told me that he still wanted to be with me, I was the one but he was an idiot and I shouldn't be with him. After asking him why he felt that he wasn't good enough for me, he told me that he had kissed another girl, whom we both know, the night before. Although we had broken up so he was single, I still feel so hurt and in so much pain that he stilled loved me yet went and done something like this. He understands how I feel, but something's telling me at the moment that things won't be the same. We've talked intensely about the relationship and the things that do need to change, but can I move on from this "single kiss" and get back to trusting him again?
Hi Alex,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Even though you had technically broken up, it is understandable that you hurt after finding out he kissed someone so quickly. It might be more painful because it's someone you both know too.
It sounds like he is very sorry for what he did and it seems that you are both committed to making this work by talking so intensely about the changes that need to be made to move forward.
Was he faithful to you while you were officially together? If so then perhaps make your decision based on this rather than when you were apart.
If he was faithful to you while you were a couple, then perhaps he will be if you decide to go out again.
Have you talked about why he did it and why her? Perhaps you need to explore this together before deciding what to do next. Does he have feelings for this other woman or was it just a case of opportunity?
It was his decision to end things in the first place so why did he think that leaving you was the answer then but now working on your relationship is the solution? You have acknowledged that things need to be different so have you talked about how you are going to put these changes in place?
When your ex moves on fast it can feel like the relationship you had together was meaningless. It sounds like he may need to prove to you that it meant something before and will in future to gain your trust back.
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