Dannii asks :
Hi Lucy,
Recently, I started hanging out with my ex again. It was the first time in five years but all of our feelings came back he told me how much he loved me and that it's me he wants, the problem here is that he is engaged. He's told his best friend that he's only settling with this other woman because he feels that he'll never get me back. I am so confused I don't know what to do. I am crazy about this guy, he's my first love. I really need some advice on what I should do.
Hi Dannii,
Agony Aunts on Female First
The problem here is that you are relying on what his friends is telling you- although it might be true, he could be a good friend to your ex and want the best from this situation, it is always better to hear it from the source.
If you are hanging out with him again then perhaps just ask him how he feels now in case the information his friend passed on is outdated or wrong. He has already told you he loves you so asking him to clarify what his friend has said is not too much to ask. If you are crazy about him then maybe you owe it to yourself to find out.
Be sure that you are doing this because you want him back and not just so he is off the market to anyone else. He is engaged- however perhaps it’s better that she finds out now if his heart is not in it than after they get married. If he feels she is not the one should he really be marrying her if she is second best?
You have mentioned how he feels, because he has told you, however have you told him what you want? If you haven’t then maybe this is why he thinks that he won’t ever get you back.
He has more at stake here by starting up this relationship again- so you need to make sure that you both want this 100% and that you talk to one another. If one of you is not in this all the way then it will break up a couple for no good reason. Try to decide if you do really want each other or if you are just remembering the good parts of your old relationship and neglecting to look at the bad. Whatever broke you up last time needs to be concentrated on heavily if you start things up again, to ensure that you don’t fall into the same habits and arguments all over again.
tagged in yin and yang best friend agony aunt
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