Sarah asks :
Hi Lucy,
I wanted some advice because I've been feeling lonely recently. I'm a single 32 year old woman and although I do have friends, most are in relationships and having children. I don't see any of them regularly and we are not close anymore. My last relationship ended a few months ago. I've been trying to broaden my horizons through online dating and going to social events through dating sites but have found it difficult to form any friendship or relationship which is meaningful and lasting. My connections with people are positive but feel superficial at the same time and I miss having friends who I can just phone up for a chat or to do something fun with at the last minute. This makes me feel quite lonely and I'm not sure what to do about it.
Hi Sarah,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like any time spent with your friends now needs to be planned in advance, to ensure you are all free. Perhaps you could instigate your next catch up so you have something to look forward to?
It's difficult when your friends are going through some things that you're not and it can feel like you have nothing in common anymore, however if they are good friends and you tell them you are going through a difficult time- they will make space to talk and meet up with you because that is what they are there for.
If you have been focusing on dating sites with little success perhaps you could focus on your passions instead. What have you always wanted to do? Maybe you could write down a few things you have always fancied doing in your spare time and find local classes to try them out.
It could be writing class, a reading group, a walking group, a new exercise class, an art class or learning a skill. If you find yourself amongst like- minded people you might just click with someone who shares the same passions as you do. This could form the basis of a friendship or a relationship. Either way it would take the pressure off as you wouldn't be meeting specifically for a date- but a relaxed setting where everyone can be themselves.
tagged in Friends children dating Relationship
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