Teresa asks :

I cant stand my husband now after 30 yr of marriage,

Yin replies

You have several options here;

 

You could try talking to him and telling him the things that bother you about him and ask him to make more of an effort, dial something back, change smoothing, however after thirty years you will both be in well-established habits that are hard to get out of after so long. If you highlight everything that you don’t like in him he may come back with a list of things that he would like you to change so there is a high probability of this turning into an argument if this is not handled properly. Highlight the things you do like about him to start with and then go into the things you don’t so he is not left focusing on the bad.

 

Yang replies

You could apply for counselling either with your doctor or through someone like Relate who specialise in couples counselling, so they can see how you interact with one another and how you can overcome problems together.

 

After 30 years it is worth trying to recapture some of what you used to have, perhaps if he knows that losing you (if you have thought about leaving) is at stake it might jolt him into making an effort to get you to like his company again.

  


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