Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I recently started university and had a friends with benefits within my friendship group. When we first started talking he took me on dates and seemed really interested in me but then we both decided on keeping it casual. The problem is he seemed to get jealous if I got attention from other males. Then all of a sudden he started acting horrible towards me and started getting with other girls in front of me and bragging about it. Then I got jealous and realised I had strong feelings for him he then broke it off. It's so hard for me to be friends with him as all he does is take the piss of me and is cocky towards me and just makes me feel angry and upset. I sometimes can't even sit in the same room as him. I don't know what to do as we are in the same friendship group and I love my friends and don't want to stop being with them because of him. I've tried having talks with him but he just laughs at me etc. I feel too much has happened for me to even be friends with him, yet I still like him. I have tried dating other guys but that hasn't helped, he's also taken the piss out of them when he hasn't even seen them or met them. Apparently he also takes the piss out of me when I'm not there. What is his problem?
Our Reply
Hi Anonymous,
It sounds like this is a very difficult situation- when you are trying to maintain a friendship as well as getting over a break up all within the same group of people.
It sounds like his reaction is just his way of coping with things. It’s easier to laugh and belittle other people to detract away from his real feelings. Try not to take his actions and words so literally, as they are probably just his way of masking his emotions.
I would suggest that you still go out with your friends but take some time out from talking to him- it sounds like the conversations you are having are not productive. It will be awkward at first, but if you care about your friends as much as you say you do then things should get easier in time. You will all get used to it and the novelty for him of talking behind your back and picking fault with the guys you are datng has worn off.
tagged in Friends Friends With Benefits dating University Friendship Lucy Walton yin and yang agony aunt
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