Jeffery asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and ever since have been head over heels for him, but recently I met this guy at the train station when getting a coffee he worked there. My train was delayed so we got talking for about 30 minutes and eventually exchanged numbers. Since we have been texting none stop and I feel as if we connect on so many levels plus he is also a similar age to me whereas my current partner is 8 years younger. I can’t help but feel guilty when talking to this new guy but he makes me smile so much it’s the 1st thing I want to do every day. What should I do? Please help.
Hi Jeffrey,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps meeting this man has highlighted the things that are lacking in your current relationship. Maybe you need to work on your communication skills together, or you need to find ways to reconnect. Do you feel that you can't talk to your partner anymore? Perhaps you have both been too focused on the serious things in your relationship and need to go out and have some fun? Have things got to a point where you never make each other laugh anymore because other stuff has got in the way?
There are several things you could try in order to make you partner the first person you want to tell things to in the day, it may just take some time and patience to get there- as well as being more honest with each other.
Could you explore these before you consider casting your relationship aside? Keep in mind that there is a lot of newness and excitement with this other guy that might wear off in time.
If you do decide that this other man is better for you and want to be with him, then maybe it's fairer to your partner to break things off with him first. Perhaps the age gap will always be an issue with your boyfriend and may continue to drive you apart to some extent.
Could it just be that you need a friend and he has come along at the right time? Or do you want something more? There should be no guilt in having a new friend, however if this man could replace your boyfriend in future, then it might be time to ask what you really want and be mindful of minimising the hurt for your partner.
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