Hi Mike,

The decision is yours- whatever you feel comfortable with and what your gut tells you to do.

It may be fast, however if you were not emotionally invested in the relationship then you might have felt like you left it long before you actually did split. This could mean that you were able to get over it faster and ready for something new sooner. If you want to have an open and honest relationship with your ex; then starting on a lie or withholding the truth could rock the boat.

You know her better than anyone- how do you think that she would react to being one of the last to know? Do you think she might understand that you were trying to save her making assumptions about your new relationship?

If she was as unhappy as you then she might be feeling the same- ready to move on. She might have more understanding for this than you think. If she does assume that you cheated on her, there is no way to prove that you didn’t- only your word, so it depends how much trust you have for one another. There is no ideal time to tell your ex that you have found someone new, even if you have split amicably. Someone else is taking the place that they used to occupy and so it will take some getting used to.

Perhaps gauge her feelings about the issue and talk about the future. Set boundaries for one another on what you want to talk about and who. This might give you a clearer picture of where she is at emotionally and what she is prepared to hear about your new life and new partners.