Temi asks :

Hey Lucy,

Who should I choose? The layabout who shows he loves me, or the serious worker who hides his emotions? The layabout (K) has professed feelings for me for over 2 years, he's had girlfriends throughout this time but always says he likes me. The serious worker (A) has hinted multiple times, but never says it. Meanwhile I like the serious worker, and just need to work for him to say how he feels.

Hi Temi,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It sounds like you have already made your decision- you say you like the serious guy, so perhaps explore something further with him. It may just be that he is not willing to express his emotions until he knows that you like him back. If he is too keen and gets a knock back then he might anticipate embarrassment and shame if you have to continue to see each other. He might be hinting in the hope that you make the first move.

Two years is a long time to say that you like someone- if the second guy liked you enough then perhaps he would not have entered into other relationships. However, if you showed no interest back then maybe that is why he went looking elsewhere.

It all depends on what you want from your love life right now- if you are looking for a stable man who you can see a sensible future with then maybe the second guy is for you. If you are just looking for a bit of fun and nothing too serious then the first guy might be the answer.

Who do you feel more comfortable with? What they do with their time might be priority now, however, perhaps think about who you would want to be with later down the line- both have their pros and cons but who do you have the greater connection with?

 


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